As far as entrances go, I'd say this takes the cake for funniest. No offense- though I'm well aware you're probably gonna take offense.

Anyway. Bro Strider at your service, you sound like you need help. Well I can't really help you considering I'm fuck-all far away, but I can at least tell you shit about the place if you need it.

I have a quick question though. Why the fuck are you licking shit?