searsblindly | ♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

Current Location: New Bark Town

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♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

H(W DU U
WSUT
WAIT
I CNT
NP STP
HW DI I WORK THUS STPID THNG
WHY CNT I
OH HELL NO
WHRE IX TH#
MYBE UF I

[There's a lot of clunk sounds suddenly and a lot of angry muttering on the other end.]

THIS TASTES METALLIC AND GROSS AND NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. MAYBE MY TONGUE TURNED OFF? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? HOW DO THESE BUTTONS WORK? WHAT IS THIS THING? WHERE IS MY CANE?

WHERE AM I? [That mumbling has turned more into yelling and it sounds like she isn't even aware that its recording.] THIS WORLD SMELLS LIKE NOTHING. A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

[If you're in New Bark Town, you'll probably see a girl sitting on the ground with her Dratini. She's shaking her Gear like that will actually do something. Otherwise, she looks really upset right about now. She keeps patting the area around her whenever she tries to pet her Dratini. Honestly, she keeps missing that damn thing completely. How do function in real life?]

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Um yes, but running an entire division requires a lot of peacekeeping skills so I was just listing the most recent scenario off the top of my head. [ She's just a mess, ignore her Terezi ): ]

I have dealt with hardship but it wasn't too difficult. The afterlife is kinda like that. I know I had it really easier than a lot of people, cause I'm from the richest district and if what the poor districts are described as is true... [ And she knows they are... ] I'm really lucky in that regard.

Not really. I don't think she's been writing any tomes in this universe.

I'm sorry, TZ, but you take the cake.

Considering I'm not a fucking troll, that would be an accurate assumption.

[Bro just lets out a small, light scoff.]

You know you don't make any sense, but sure thing. Red smuppet coming right the hell up. Whenever I get my ass around to it, anyway.

You can't just buy more of these...whatever persimmons are. It would help if I knew what they were passed being edible.

Oh! So you know what it's like being dead! Here I thought I wouldn't know more people who are dead but not so dead. Then again, I'm not surprised! I think that just happens to be the story of my life. I can smell dead people. [Completely off topic.] Dead people have rich and poor districts? What.

That's because everyone here is catching pokebeast and trying to be the very best.

I am offended that you would put me above Gamzee!

Let's be honest, the shit that happened on the meteor was pretty fucking crazy in hindsight! I don't think most of us really had a clear idea what was happening.

I make total sense! You just don't have the thinkpan capacity to understand me. I will show it to Dave all the time when it is finished!

We can but squad five's persimmons are the best persimmons! They're very delicious and very tenderly cared for as they're being grown.

Yeah! I mean, I guess I'm dead, so I do know what it's like to be dead. I also know what it's like to pass people to the afterlife. [ And. Yeah. Momo just grins. ] Yep! The afterlife is sorted into 80 districts that go North, South, East and West. The 80th district is so unruly and warmongering, that it's hard to even live there. There's nothing you can subsist on, unless you subsist on blood. The first district is very wealthy and clean and there's no hooligans at all.

What do dead people smell like? [ She wished she had that trait. She just senses them. ]

TZ, if you want honesty, I didn't even know what the fuck had happened in that hellhole until I'd been in Johto for like three months. [He doesn't even remember when he was told.] Apparently I got took from just before that happened.

Well that's what he got for starting at the very end! I could have told him that would go poorly.

[ Because time player.

...Actually she did log her disapproval of the plan to start with, but yeah. ]

And aren't you going to do the same?

Oh, okay. Blame my thinkpan, yeah. That's real nice of you. I'm so offended right now, and maybe even a little hurt. Why would you do that to me?

Oh. Your afterlife sounds really weird! But it's probably more normal compared to living in dream bubbles full of memories and being able to talk to people who are alive and traveling through. In retrospect, none of that really sounds like it made much sense.

It depends! Everyone has a different smell because I smell colors. I was joking about smelling dead people specifically! If you switched on your video, I would be able to make you out by your taste. At least, that's what I used to be able to do! I guess humans don't really get that here so I'm stuck smelling air and grass.

You aren't missing much! I'm pretty sure most of us don't really know what really happened. It was kind of a huge clusterfuck. A really dumb clusterfuck.

[Karkat may have the most knowledge since everyone else was kind of all over the place most of it.]

Everyone could have told him, and he wouldn't have listened! Are we even surprised about this?

[The right answer is no. No one is surprised.]

Probably! I want a team of dragons though. That's the only team worthwhile for me.

[She'll probably end up having more than just dragons though.]

You don't think I am not hurt by your inability to understand me? I am very hurt! You have also hurt my precious feelings!

Your precious feefees will be fine, I think it's mine that won't ever recover! My poor, delicate little feefees. Ugh. I could fuckin' cry.

I would love to hear you cry! Please cry, Dave's lusus! I will have successfully made Dave and you cry. That would leave me with only one other Strider!

Well, yeah, I gathered that.

When did you make Dave cry? Is there something I should know about?

It's really the only thing you need to know! I mean, other than a bunch of us died.

Well, okay, technically I wasn't the one that made him cry! And I am pretty sure he was crying because of onions!

No one really cries over onions, he was probably just using that as an excuse to cover up the fact he actually was crying. What the hell did you do to him?

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♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

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