searsblindly | ♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

Current Location: New Bark Town

Entry tags:

♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

H(W DU U
WSUT
WAIT
I CNT
NP STP
HW DI I WORK THUS STPID THNG
WHY CNT I
OH HELL NO
WHRE IX TH#
MYBE UF I

[There's a lot of clunk sounds suddenly and a lot of angry muttering on the other end.]

THIS TASTES METALLIC AND GROSS AND NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. MAYBE MY TONGUE TURNED OFF? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? HOW DO THESE BUTTONS WORK? WHAT IS THIS THING? WHERE IS MY CANE?

WHERE AM I? [That mumbling has turned more into yelling and it sounds like she isn't even aware that its recording.] THIS WORLD SMELLS LIKE NOTHING. A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

[If you're in New Bark Town, you'll probably see a girl sitting on the ground with her Dratini. She's shaking her Gear like that will actually do something. Otherwise, she looks really upset right about now. She keeps patting the area around her whenever she tries to pet her Dratini. Honestly, she keeps missing that damn thing completely. How do function in real life?]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

You sound so offended, let me tell you.

[Oh, troll lingo. Alright, you're a troll then. H'okay, gotta be careful not to accidentally flirt with you.]

Yeah, I'm his lusus or whatever. And yep, your coolkid lesson starts right the fuck now. Your first lesson is don't question my coolness, because that is the single most uncool thing you could possibly fuckin' do. I ain't makin' fun of you, you're just kinda weird. But that isn't a bad thing.

If you go straight left you'll reach the professor's place. Round doorknob. I'll guide you. And of course you're the collest cat, you'll ascend to Godly fly.

No, there's no graphic death involved and no dream bubbles! I'm pretty sure it's impossible for anyone to even die here. As for why they'd do that... who knows.

Well, Dragon types are weak to...Ice and Dragon. So having types to cover those weaknesses might be useful, but otherwise, Dragons have a lot of resistances.

You know, I hadn't noticed that before? About none of the guys being breeders. I think there's a way to apply for a change, but I've never minded my position, so! I still get to challenge gyms if I want, and I can explore and stuff.

What, do you actually mean that?

There would be plenty of fun in that. I wouldn't have to put my hand in your face, for example.

That's because there's nothing better than a dragon! [Because Terezi says so and she'll deny anything ever one upping her babies.]

They're probably trying to make all the females swoon with their good battling skills! All the flush crushes they can get. [Terezi cackles.] I think you're find as a Breeder! Don't worry your little morbid faerie rumpus!

Of course! We played that stupid session together and got our rumps fucked over together. Just because you're a huge asshole doesn't mean we weren't in it together.

Except I'll have to kill you if you do that again, so you better not. A just hanging for such outlandish tactics, Eridan! You know the drill.

[Terezi gets back to her feet and kind of holds her arms out as she starts walking in that general direction. This is going to be a suffering process.] Why am I going there!

Swoon, coolkid! You just can't say things like that and not be there to catch me!

Is there a point to all of this? It doesn't sound like there was any way to "win" and go home. At least in the session, we had a goal and we had a prize we could get by winning!

But tell me more about this Team Rocket. [Of course she wants to know.]

Yes, kind of. If I still had my ability to smell properly I would be less offended! But I'm a stupid, squishy monkey like everyone else and humans don't apparently have something like that!

Is there any upside to being one?

That depends if that means I can have everyone do shit for me so I don't have to do it myself! [Screw being her own woman. If she can make others do her bidding...]

I'll get it replaced, of course!

That sounds dumb! How do you properly punish wrongdoers if you can't have a proper execution?

That was so encouraging, Kanaya. Thank you so much. [She is not looking forward to that. Wow.]

Of course! No one would want to leave a poor human girl like me all by my lonesome!

John says the original point to the game was to catch all of the species and to beat the Elite Four after obtaining all of the badges. How much of that is true now? I have no fucking idea.

Team Rocket is a band of outlaws. No doubt you'll want to do something about that. There's a group dedicated to disrupting their plans and protecting others from them, since the local authorities seem inept at capturing the culprits. They have been responsible for destruction of public property on a massive scale, spreading a mutagenic disease, and theft of Pokémon.

I don't see why you'd have to do that in the first place! My tongue isn't going to kill you. I promise!

Because I am! My sensitive human emotions have been so hurt!

I'm not weird. You humans are weird. You're pink and squishy and you don't bleed colors like us! It is very weird. And you don't have horns and there's just a lot of things that make you weird! It is an enjoyable, and tasty weird that I can no longer enjoy.

Look adorable? I am so offended right now! [She pretends to sound really upset.]

Why would you tell me about how they look like that. I can't see! Telling a blind person things they can't do! How rude can you get. That's so mean. Now I'm going to have to wonder what my first Pokebeast is and never actually getting to know because I can't see! [She almost sounds like she might cry.]

If you wish to avoid my fate, I would suggest broaching any particularly sensitive subjects, particularly ones involving romantic entanglements, early. Before they can punch you in the face unexpectedly.

Ah, yes. Speaking of being human. There are probably some things you will need to know about that.

[Does Kanaya sound awkward and reluctant to be broaching this subject? Why yes!]

So we're basically just wasting time by doing this! [Wow, what a load of bull.]

You know me so well, Karkat! Of course I want to do something about it. Such actions like that deserve to be dealt with in a proper manner. I know proper manners that I'm sure not many others would partake in.

For some reason, I don't think I want that particular subject punching me in the face!

What? [>:?]

No, you don't. It is an exceedingly unpleasant experience.

[A hesitation.]

Have you taken a moment to review the biological shifts that have come from being transformed into a soft, pink mammal?

I wouldn't call it a waste. Bet your little dragon friend would agree.

[ he likes his beasties, okay? ]

Talk to Riku if you want in on the group endeavors. He's been here for an entire sweep. Two human years. There's nothing about this place he doesn't know.

Whatever you do, just don't get caught, Terezi. You're very human now.

Honestly, I think you'll manage to survive. It might be a slow, painful recovery, but I promise. Your feelings will live on.

Oh hell to the no, I think you're mistaken. It's definitely you that's the weird one. You can't just arrive and lick everything and not be the weird one. That ain't how life works. I'm sorry to say, but your witchy licky powers just don't work here.

Not that I know of.

From what I know, we're just cute, weak and useless. We'd probably be the bottom of the food chain compared to the other species out there.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 5 of 14

♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

Audio

no subject

[voice]

video

[voice]

[Audio]

video

[voice]

no subject

voice; private

[video]

voice

[voice]

[voice]

voice; private

[Audio]

Audio

voice

[voice]

voice; private

[voice]

[voice]

voice; private

Audio

[video]