searsblindly | ♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

Current Location: New Bark Town

Entry tags:

♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

H(W DU U
WSUT
WAIT
I CNT
NP STP
HW DI I WORK THUS STPID THNG
WHY CNT I
OH HELL NO
WHRE IX TH#
MYBE UF I

[There's a lot of clunk sounds suddenly and a lot of angry muttering on the other end.]

THIS TASTES METALLIC AND GROSS AND NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. MAYBE MY TONGUE TURNED OFF? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? HOW DO THESE BUTTONS WORK? WHAT IS THIS THING? WHERE IS MY CANE?

WHERE AM I? [That mumbling has turned more into yelling and it sounds like she isn't even aware that its recording.] THIS WORLD SMELLS LIKE NOTHING. A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

[If you're in New Bark Town, you'll probably see a girl sitting on the ground with her Dratini. She's shaking her Gear like that will actually do something. Otherwise, she looks really upset right about now. She keeps patting the area around her whenever she tries to pet her Dratini. Honestly, she keeps missing that damn thing completely. How do function in real life?]

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Swooning. So much swag. I cannot handle it!

Pails are much more convenient than what I'm hearing about your human ways. And your skin is all stupid and soft!

[Wait.] Puppet porno?

[Bingo.] That would make me feel so much better! To receive a Pokemon that will help me. I think that would really make up for what just happened. I would really appreciate it even!

I am looking forward to raising her.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner.

I...

[ he is struggling with that really. Karkat isn't sure he wants to go back. No benefit for him. He isn't really needed or anything. Well Dave says he is but that was an opinion more than fact. ]

I don't know if I do or don't. It's complicated.

Thankfully things are usually pretty peaceful here... Unfortunately, when something happens, it's usually something pretty big.

Their entire biology seems inherently designed for this. It may even be true of pokebeasts too, given that they all require a male and female to breed as well.

Consider it done! I'll have to research first to see which pokémon would fit, but, I'll definitely try to help you out! I'm glad we could come to an understanding!

From what I've heard, after you raise them for a really long time, they become a super powerful dragon named Dragonite!

Objectively speaking, anyone's tongue will be disgusting if they're using it to lick me.

I'm useless here, Karkat. I can't do anything on my own right now! [She's already ran into a door for Pete's sake.]

Other than the prospect of having dragons like Pyralspite, what am I supposed to do? On the other hand, everyone seems to be here and we don't have to deal with the meteor or anything else that will happen.

You're so boring sometimes!

[And she's a manipulating asshole, but who's judging.]

Big things you say?

What type of big things?

But what if you like a female and you're female? Or male and male? What is the point of assigning these roles so specifically?

It sounds like you've never been properly licked before.

I am very flattered at how thoughtful you are about it! I will love it with all my heart. [Why catch Pokemon when people can give them to you? Sheesh.]

Dragonite! That sounds like a beautiful creature. It even has the word dragon in it.

[Yes this was Kanaya's first question when this all came up. For reasons.]

The relationship is possible, it just won't create a situation that will result in offspring, not without external assistance.

Ah...I don't know why, though. Because human biology is stupid, I suppose.

This entire situation is stupid.

Also, extremely biased. It's a good thing that I don't think I want to have an offspring via human ways!

Not that I wanted offspring in the first place because it's not my job to raise trolls! That's what lusus are for.

I know and that part I don't like any more than you do.

If I might suggest something? Get a psychic type. They can talk in your head... I don't see why they might not be able to give you mind pictures of your terrain. Won't be completely blind then, right?

[ just... throwing that out there real quick. ]

We'll go back though, eventually. Time stops when we leave and resumes its course when we return... And almost everyone returns one way or another.

Someone is researching and getting me one. [She's already at her tricks, Karkat. Way ahead of you.

It does pay to have a disability here at least.]

It seems nice here. I mean, the meteor wasn't that bad by any means, but here seems legitimately nice. Minus the human female parts that I am not going to talk about at all!

There's nothing good on that meteor though either.

[ not for him anyway. the only thing that he had been okay with is meeting dead alternate friends. ]

Also please don't bring up that weird female human shit. I was creeped out the first time because of John talking to me about human puberty.

Well, in human society parents function as lusus and birth their own children. Which is...

[Well, she didn't know, exactly. It just sounded weird.]

But yes, the entire situation is exceedingly biased, and I don't like it at all.

Oh, and you're not, miss I-can't-be-damned-to-go-and-do-my-own-work?

There's no doubt in my mind that you're a lovely person! [ The most naive Johtoian... ]

It is! It's very cute from what I've seen, yet super duper powerful!

There wasn't a lot good about what happened to us in general, looking back. We were all kind of fucked up. We still are!

I'm not too happy about it and I am pretending it isn't a thing until it has to be.

You mistake me for being lazy. I have other things to do while people are doing things for me. I'm not a sitting du-oh wait I am.

Do you know how boring waiting is? It's really boring.

I guess we don't have to worry about the birthing part since we aren't gonna get human babies anyways!

It's still stupid.

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♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

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