♎ 1ST HANGING[TEXT/AUDIO/ACTION FOR NEW BARK TOWN] ♎

[searsblindly]

H(W DU U
WSUT
WAIT
I CNT
NP STP
HW DI I WORK THUS STPID THNG
WHY CNT I
OH HELL NO
WHRE IX TH#
MYBE UF I

[There's a lot of clunk sounds suddenly and a lot of angry muttering on the other end.]

THIS TASTES METALLIC AND GROSS AND NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. MAYBE MY TONGUE TURNED OFF? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? HOW DO THESE BUTTONS WORK? WHAT IS THIS THING? WHERE IS MY CANE?

WHERE AM I? [That mumbling has turned more into yelling and it sounds like she isn't even aware that its recording.] THIS WORLD SMELLS LIKE NOTHING. A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

[If you're in New Bark Town, you'll probably see a girl sitting on the ground with her Dratini. She's shaking her Gear like that will actually do something. Otherwise, she looks really upset right about now. She keeps patting the area around her whenever she tries to pet her Dratini. Honestly, she keeps missing that damn thing completely. How do function in real life?]

Comments

[voice]

[searsblindly]

Human reproduction is the worst! Why would you want to have a human grub come out of you? Does it eat its way out of you? How do humans recover from that?

How come this is only a female human thing?

[voice]

[wontturntostone]

...I did not feel the need to ask about how that happens. I would rather not dwell upon it, to be honest.

Rose indicated it has something to do with their species requiring one of each individual sex to breed.

[voice]

[searsblindly]

BUT KANAYA. What if we have a human grub come out of us?! I do not want to be human pregnant. I do not want human grubs bursting out of me.

That's stupid.

[voice]

[wontturntostone]

Apparently the human term for a grub is a baby.

And unless you have sex with a human male, you can't actually have that happen.

[voice]

[searsblindly]

That is a dumb name!

But how do you know when you're having sex?

[voice]

[wontturntostone]

I...

[Kanaya hesitates.]

...there is probably a guide somewhere.

[voice]

[searsblindly]

Humans are stupidly complicated. Why can't they just use pails and make it easier on themselves?

[voice]

[wontturntostone]

Their entire biology seems inherently designed for this. It may even be true of pokebeasts too, given that they all require a male and female to breed as well.

[voice]

[searsblindly]

But what if you like a female and you're female? Or male and male? What is the point of assigning these roles so specifically?

[voice]

[wontturntostone]

[Yes this was Kanaya's first question when this all came up. For reasons.]

The relationship is possible, it just won't create a situation that will result in offspring, not without external assistance.

Ah...I don't know why, though. Because human biology is stupid, I suppose.

[voice]

[searsblindly]

This entire situation is stupid.

Also, extremely biased. It's a good thing that I don't think I want to have an offspring via human ways!

Not that I wanted offspring in the first place because it's not my job to raise trolls! That's what lusus are for.

[voice]

[wontturntostone]

Well, in human society parents function as lusus and birth their own children. Which is...

[Well, she didn't know, exactly. It just sounded weird.]

But yes, the entire situation is exceedingly biased, and I don't like it at all.

[voice]

[searsblindly]

I guess we don't have to worry about the birthing part since we aren't gonna get human babies anyways!

It's still stupid.

[voice]

[wontturntostone]

No. I think we are considered too young for the process, regardless of our intent, anyway.

[voice]

[searsblindly]

I wouldn't want one even if I wasn't too young, so I'm not worried about it.